October 9, 2011 – Of Bears and Boating

I learned this week…

…that it sucks when my ankles swell up to a size they’ve not been since I gave birth to my youngest child some eleven years ago. It also sucks that it took three days to get the swelling to go down.

…that my doctor will look at me like I have grown a second head when I come in with a written list of things I wish to discuss with her. I’ve been saving them up for the last year – since my last appointment with her. I think I may have overwhelmed her. I really like her, but I miss my old doctor. She understood me.

…that perhaps I should stop self-diagnosing and informing my doctor of what ails with me before she has a chance to offer her professional opinion. I think she sends me out for diagnostics just to prove to me that she is the one with medical degree.

…that I still hate Beowulf with a passion and I am still unable to retain the story. This caused me a great amount of angst and embarrassment this week when I bombed a surprise quiz on the piece. When I say bombed, I mean I received credit for one correct answer out of five.

…that I really am disgusted with the cafe on my college campus and am dismayed to know that this campus is the only one in the district its lack of sufficiently nutritious lunch choices. I am planning an extensive letter writing campaign to rectify the problem. In case you miss my previous post on this subject, you can read more about my recent experience [here].

…that it is absolutely wonderful to see the beginning of October. I am looking forward to spending a few hours at my favorite pumpkin patch this weekend and heralding in the start of the best season of the year.

…that I enjoy studying with the older gentleman who sits in front of me in my Western Civilization class. He is a lot like me, in school for the sake of learning and no other reason. However, the slacker who sits at the end of my row, in the same class, can bite me. I would be more than willing to share my notes and study guide with him if he actually put forth an effort to show up to class. Does this make me a bitch? Perhaps. However, in the last couple of years, I’ve become very familiar with the two types of students that darken the door of my classes. You have your worker bees – like me – and the mouth breathers, as I affectionately like to call them. They are the late arrivals, the nappers, the texters, the food munchers, the “my dog ate my homework” excuse slingers. And that’s if they even bother showing up to class at all. These are also the ones who dissolve into a full-blown panic attack on test day and want to borrow everyone elses notes and study guides so that they may have a snowball’s chance in hell of passing. I am an unsympathetic person by nature. I feel that your lot in life is determined by your own actions. If you don’t put forth an effort to advance yourself, then you have no one to blame but yourself when everything goes terribly bad for you. This makes me very unpopular. I couldn’t care less.

…that my beautiful daughter is obsessed with something called Invader Zim. I don’t know if I should be disturbed by this or not. It seems to be a far cry from her former iCarly obsession. Perhaps it will pass soon.

…that nothing ruins a workout more than having a woman get on the elliptical next you with foul-smelling breath. Yesterday, I was minding my own business, getting my grove on to some 70s era disco music, when I smelled something horrifying. I looked to my left, the direction I thought the odor was permeating. Next to me was a woman who I regular see at the gym. I’ve been stuck next to her on the elliptical before and it was a slightly unpleasant experience then, too. Yesterday, however, she must have eaten a whole bushel of onions the night before because she reeked. It was so nauseating, that I had to leave the area completely. So, unfortunately, I did not get my cardio workout in, and instead had to pass the time on the weight machines. I guess it all worked out. Today, she was there before me and I was smart enough to opt for a machine at the opposite side of the gym. The air quality was much improved.

…that it has been one of those weeks where I am academically overwhelmed and creatively uninspired. Hopefully, next week will be better and the Man vs. Beast segment will be back in full swing. I do have some great stuff bookmarked and my ever diligent brother has sent me a couple of things I missed.

…last but not least…this week’s awww moment is brought to you by Fran, a fifteen year old gorilla who resides at the Bronx Zoo in New York City, and her encounter with a duckling who wandered into her enclosure.