I’ll be completely honest, I was going to pass on a Man vs. Beast blog this week. That is until the spider monkey escaped its enclosure at the Dallas Zoo (my local zoo). It’s the second escape in as many weeks. Talk about instant inspiration!
So…let’s get to it, shall we?
Remember the rash of bee attacks a couple of months ago? Well, they have struck again. This time in the Sunshine State. A man renovating his house was found dead by his family in an upstairs bedroom, surrounded by swarming bees. 60,000 swarming bees, to be exact. It appears the man was in the process of trying to rid the bedroom of the bees himself using store-bought bug bombs. Experts do not believe the bees contributed in any way to the man’s death. They believe he died after falling off a chair that was found near his body. How is it that experts are always so stupid? This man was clearly pushed. By the bees. Duh. [Click here for more].
A couple of weeks ago, at the Dallas Zoo, a female chimpanzee escaped her enclosure and had to be tranquilized. Yesterday it happened again, only this time it was a spider monkey who escaped its habitat. Neither animal made it very far, and it did not appear that they had any specific destination in mind – just out for a stroll. Or were they? This zoo is not new to animal jailbreaks. Last year, a female gorilla made it out of her enclosure and in 2004, a male gorilla actually scaled the outer wall of the outdoor exhibit, getting a brief whiff of sweet freedom before being unceremoniously shot dead by police. Human error at play here? You bet. But these are primates we are talking about here. It is obvious to me that for the past several years, the apes of the Dallas Zoo have been formulating a plan of action – their great escape. [Click here for more].
In Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming, an elk hunter survived a grizzly bear attack by dropping to the ground, covering his head, and playing dead. Glad to see there is at least one hunter out there who reads my blog. Right? [Click here to read more].
Turtles are slow, non-threatening, and unassuming. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t in on this whole animal revolt. In Jack County, Texas, near the town of – wait for it – Antelope, a young woman rolled her vehicle when she swerved to dodge a turtle crossing the road. I wonder how many drunk turtles were hiding in the bushes, laughing their asses off at the calamity their buddy caused.
It’s official. The ninja shark assassins have laid siege to the west coast. Of course, they have not been as successful as their Australian brethren. Or perhaps they just mean to intimidate us with their menacing presence. In Leucadia, California, at Beacon’s Beach a surfer reported that a ten foot long Great White shark circled him before disappearing into the surf. The surfer credits his close proximity to the shore with saving him from what could have been a fatal attack. I doubt that had anything to do with it. If that shark meant to kill him, he would be dead – or missing a limb. [Click here to read more].
At a surfing competition at San Francisco’s Ocean Beach, a competitor was scared out of the water after he spotted a shark barreling down on him. He described it as measuring at least fifteen feet in length and most definitely not a dolphin. Unlike in other recent attacks and sightings, officials did not close the beach and the competition went on as scheduled. Obviously, these surfers have not been properly intimidated. Metaphorically flipping the bird at a Great White shark while dressed up like their favorite food – well, that just plain stupidity. [Click here to read more].
So, I took a step out of my comfort zone and went whale watching in Mexico this year. It scared the crap out of me, but not for the reason you would think. My mind was preoccupied with the horrors of drowning in the very deep, very cold Pacific ocean. Not once did I think about what could happen if one of those whales our guide was so vehemently pursuing actually breached in close proximity to the raft I was riding in. After seeing the video linked below, I think it is safe to say that I will never, ever, ever, ever, go whale watching again. Ever.
Of Bears and Boating 