“A murderer is less loathsome to us than a spy. The murderer may have acted on a sudden mad impulse; he may be penitent and amend; but a spy is always a spy, night and day, in bed, at [the] table, as he walks abroad; his vileness pervades every moment of his life.”
– Honore de Balzac
A multitasking overachiever, I am not. If I am writing, I’m not blogging. If I’m blogging, I’m not writing. And if I have an exam coming up – well then, all bets are off.
Lately, I’ve been writing – a lot. Well, a lot for me. I am a slow, methodical writer who sometimes gets caught up in mechanics. I’ve been known to spend an afternoon contemplating a word, a phrase, a sentence, a paragraph only to delete it completely for lack of relevancy. Such is my process, for better or worse.
Right now, I am participating in this month’s Camp NaNoWriMo challenge. The thing that attracted me to it was the adjustable word count. The traditional 50K word requirement is a bit more than I can reasonably handle given my “life load” and meandering writing style. So, I picked a number I felt comfortable with, and away I went.
Now, as we approach the finish line, I am feeling confident, almost accomplished. If projections are correct, and I don’t fall into some hidden sinkhole between now and Tuesday, I will reach my goal with time to spare.
Of course, as with everything in my life, I look at this endeavor as a learning experience – and I’ve certainly learned plenty over the last month.
I learned…
…that somewhere in the midst of three incomplete drafts and six outline revisions, Retribution lost its…well…retribution. Let me explain. All characters need motivation. Anna’s driving force has always been the primordial need to avenge, to repay in kind the wrongs leveled upon her by men of unmitigated evil. It is that encompassing compulsion that keeps her from walking naked into the ocean and setting her shattered soul adrift.
At first, I didn’t notice the omission. I ticked off word after word, paragraph after paragraph, scene after scene without giving it a second thought. Just a happy little writing clam – not a care in the world. Then, at the 15K word mark, it hit me square in the forehead. Do you know that feeling? It was like someone gave me a good knock on the noggin and said, “Hey, stupid. Where did Anna’s retribution go?”
Um…hmm.
Shit.
…that I have an appointment with outline number 7 – on May 1st.
…that utilizing the “comments” feature in MS Word helps stem my crippling need to edit as I write. I am learning to mark it and move on. I’ve also learned that if I print the scene along with the comments, my writing group will critique my notes, too. Very helpful. Unless the notes are filled with nonsensical ramblings and make me seem slightly schizophrenic. Then they are just embarrassing.
…that no one in my house is interested in me until I sit down to write. The moment my laptop opens, I become the most needed person on the planet. And the grumpiest. My family thinks writing makes me crabby. Sigh.
…that changing the name of Anna’s brother makes him so much more likable to me. This go around, I don’t seem to have the overwhelming urge to kill him off sooner rather than later. I might not even kill him at all now. Can someone explain that to me?
…that if Ben doesn’t die, then someone else must. Who shall it be? Leo, Cooper, Elliot, Kyla?
I know who, but I’m not telling.
…that wine and writing do not mix. Seriously.
“Friends don’t let friends write drunk.”
Write on fellow campers. Write on.
Of Bears and Boating 
I too have noticed that something as small as changing a person’s name can be the reason behind me sticking with that character or entire story. I can’t explain it, but I know what you mean. I didn’t realize that MS Word had a “comments” feature on it. I’ve just recently realized I can highlight my text in an effort to quit editing while writing. Very cool.
I love NaNo… the amount of things I have learned, about writing, my personal style and process alone have made every venture with it more than worth it!
I too have found, the moment I start to write… that is when anyone and everyone want my attention **grins** buut, since everyone knows that to pursue the need to speak to me at that moment will probably inspire my wrath… most leave me alone if I utter the words, I’m writing or NaNo or wordcount **grins** hmm, maybe there is something to that?!?
NaNo is not for editing, it is for pouring out words, no matter how horrible they may seem at the time. And sometimes… sometimes we will find a little kernel of an idea from what we have written in our haste, at least, that is what I have found.
And the biggest and best thing I have learned… my rough draft that I craft during nano, is my “outline”! That little tidbit alone has really changed my writing and focus for NaNo, and really allowed me to open the door to possibilities and doors I would have otherwise missed!