The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts. – Peter Dickinson
I couldn’t help myself. Now that Thanksgiving is over, I must turn my attention to bashing the holiday I find the least appeal of them all. This is only the beginning. There are 28 shopping days left until Christmas.
I learned the last couple of weeks…
…that group projects don’t suck after all. Okay. Perhaps that is being a bit overly optimistic. Let’s try that again. Group project, in general, suck. However, there are rare occasions when you are grouped with a person who is a bigger overachiever than you are. In Western Civilization last week, we were divided into four groups and instructed to develop an argument that was either for or against the Protestant Reformation and explain its impact on Western Europe. The guy who sits in front of me is a devote Christian and….wait for it….an award winning debater. SCORE!
…that I love Shakespeare’s Hamlet more this time around than I did last time. I didn’t think it was possible. But I always did love it when all the important characters die at the end of a story. Is that weird?
…that hard drives will crash at the least convenient time possible. It’s like they wait patiently, biding their time, for the most advantageous moment to strike. Unaware of the treachery lurking, you spend the day writing and revising. Just as the last word is written, the very last source properly cited, you make the fatal mistake of turning your back on the lecherous laptop – just for one brief moment – and BAM! It’s all gone in the blink of any eye, never to be seen or heard from again. Bastards.
…that my little old lady kitty, the one I thought was misdiagnosed, does indeed have a tumor. The vet has offered to biopsy it for us. I think I am going to decline. We’ve spent a fortune the last few months with no real answers or solutions. As sad as it makes me, I think it’s time to throw in the towel and allow nature to take its course. She’s had sixteen good years of life and we are going to do our best to make sure the rest of her time with us is as comfortable as possible.
…that I should probably stop cursing my overly sensitive tire pressure sensor. Turns out that my tire really was low, though not for the reason I thought. My tire was fine. My rim was not. Apparently, somewhere in my travels, I hit a pothole lethal enough to crack my front driver’s side rim. Rims for my car at the dealer aren’t cheap ($600 each), but the internet is wondrous place with many deals to be had. My car is as good as new. Well, almost. I still have that door ding that irks me every time I see it, but that’s a rant for a different blog.
…that looking into the face of your child’s child is a strangely emotional thing, especially when the newborn baby girl strongly resembles her father. It is even stranger and more emotional to see pride and love etched in your child’s face and he gazes at his own child. Very surreal.
…that Black Friday is an atrocity that does nothing but feed on the greed and depravity that is overtaking our society. Call me old-fashioned. Call me a cynic. I don’t care. I remember when nothing – and I mean nothing – was open on Thanksgiving, people weren’t camped out in front of big box stores looking to snatch up flat screen TVs, Blu-Ray players, and laptops, and no one was “neutralizing” the crowd with pepper sprayed or getting trampled to death. Yet another reason to ditch the holidays for a warm, sandy beach on an island far, far away.
…that – in keeping with my Scrooge-like attitude – nothing makes me want to throw the remote at my own flat screen TV like the intro credits to “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I hate that movie. Yeah, I said it. I HATE THAT MOVIE! If they are going to make me watch Christmas themed shows, the least they could do is make it “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” The original. Not that “update” Charlie Brown mess.
…that jacket shopping with my daughter is worse than shoe shopping. This weekend brought a blast of cold air to our little neck of the woods. The coldest of the season and thus, it was necessary to replace the winter jacket my daughter had long outgrown. She is a sweet girl with an easy-going personality, but she has very clear likes and dislikes. She likes jackets with zippers. She does not like puffer jackets. She likes a little faux fur. She does not like jackets that make noise. She likes jackets with hoods. She does not like jackets that are too long. It was a long, arduous process. We finally found one that was deemed acceptable at Macy’s, a store that I really don’t like all that much and only went into because I desperately wanted out of the mall.
…that my daughter is moving out of the kid’s department and into the junior’s department. Have you seen some of the things these teenagers wear? Scary prospect, indeed. Just for the record, bedazzling the bum of jeans, regardless of the targeted demographic, is a bad idea. Very, very bad idea.
…that the onset of the holiday season brings a whole slew of new faces to the gym. The day after Thanksgiving was crazy. I was predictably annoyed by the newbies who hampered my workout process with their ignorance, but I was also secretly thrilled. I find a lot of my character inspiration at the gym. There’s just something so special about those people.
…that Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 is grosser than the first. I didn’t think they could top the “cheese touch”. I was wrong.
…that I really liked the movie Fair Game. It is Hollywood’s version of the Valerie Plame scandal. I love spy thrillers and political conspiracies, so this one was right up my ally. Of course, I am sure the story has been enhanced for the pleasure of the viewing public, but it was entertaining and gave food for thought on the far-reaching power of the White House.
…that since my last “Things I learned…” post I’ve sat and watched Pride & Prejudice on the Oxygen channel twice. I’ve also watched Bourne Identity (my second favorite movie) twice – in the same day on Starz. Don’t you judge me.
WARNING! WARNING!
My pet peeve of the week is…
…that I can’t seem to get away from those radio commercials that swear that you can lose weight and keep it off simply by subscribing to their prepackaged “restaurant quality” meals. No exercise or life style change required. Is this company on crack? Are people so desperate to avoid sweating that they buy into this crap? Calorie in/calorie out people. The weight may come off initially, but it will be back. With vengeance. Serious lifestyle change is required to obtain good health and certainly, if you want to keep it. Believe me when I say it is easier, and less expensive, to just suck it up and get your ass moving. [Okay, I shall step off the soapbox now.]
…and lastly, this week’s awww moment is brought to you by a very over-ambitious hamster with eyes bigger than his stomach…or mouth.
Of Bears and Boating 