So, with everyone throwing around words like remake, reboot, prequel, and sequel, my head is spinning. I’m so confused by it all and it makes me wonder if the creativity well in Hollywood has finally run dry? Do the powers that be think the viewing public so incapable of espousing something new and fresh that they must look to the past for the next great flick? Or maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s us. Are our imaginations so stunted that we are truly inept at embracing anything other than storylines and characters we already find intimately familiar? Frankly, I find it all exhausting and a bit of a blow to my intelligence. That’s not to say I’m immune to it all. I loved the Star Trek reboot. What self-respecting, closet geek didn’t? Tron Legacy, anyone? Bond? Well, it did take me a while to get on board that reboot. Though, my issue was more in the casting than the direction of the franchise. I eventually did come around to the idea of Daniel Craig filling the Bond shoes – even if Quantum of Solace did suck ever so slightly. Okay. A lot.
Then there’s the Footloose remake. It’s a remake and not a reboot, right? Again, I have no idea but I do know that there can be absolutely no logical reason to futz around with that flick. Kevin Bacon = Ren McCormack. Period. End of story. Any remake, reboot, sequel, prequel – whatever – is doomed to failure and will likely tarnish the good name of a perfectly wonderful 80’s classic – again. Do Hollywood executives not remember the debacle that was Fame circa 2009? Or that monstrosity that was 2004’s Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights? The next thing you know, they’ll be remaking Flashdance and Top Gun. Oops…too late. Top Gun is slated for 2013. Excuse me while I beat my head against my desk. Pure blasphemy. But wait – there’s more. At a theater near you this summer, you will have your choice of remakes and reboots (define them how you will – I’m tired of trying). You will be treated to fresh offerings of Fright Night, Conan the Barbarian 3D (because 3D makes everything better – not), Spy Kids 4 in 4D (oh goody – the added bonus of seeing a sucky movie AND getting wet), Final Destination 5 (they haven’t gotten there yet?), Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, and The Smurfs (also in 3D – *sigh*). Next year you can expect to be dazzled with remakes/reboots of Spiderman, Superman (entitled Man of Steel), the next Dark Knight film (Batman) and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (because as Americans, we have to do things our way). And of course, for all you stoners out there – Bill & Ted 3 appears to be a go. Again, I ask: Has Hollywood run out of ideas? Or have we lost our willingness to embrace new ideas; thereby, giving writers no choice but to give us what we already know?
Of Bears and Boating 