work in progress – Of Bears and Boating

Retribution: Anna begins

I’m going to try something new.

Something that scares the shit out of me.

I’m going to share with you a bit of the first chapter of my WIP.

Why?

Because it’s time to take another step outside my comfort zone.

Be kind.

Or don’t.

Here goes.

(Egads! Hope I didn’t miss any typos…)

Ocracoke Island, North Carolina

Anna Malkin sat atop a dune of bleached sand on North Carolina’s outer bank, the wind whipping her fiery red hair around her head like a torrent of flames licking the night sky. She stared out across the wide expanse of the Atlantic clad only in a sleeveless gown of gauzy cotton, her feet bare. Goose bumps prickled her skin, but her senses had long since numbed to the bitter bite of the ocean air.

Dawn was breaking, the sun just beginning its slow ascent. It kissed the surface of the glistening water, casting a star burst glow along the horizon. It was a peaceful scene, serene in its simplicity. It was a sight that used to warm her heart and calm her soul. Now, as the blackness of night retreated into the light of day, the beauty and serenity were lost to Anna. All she knew, all she’d known for one hundred and two days , was the sound of the earthly hell brewing within the confines of her own mind.

Louder and louder it grew until it was all she heard, all she saw, all she felt.

One hundred and two days.

At times it seemed like a lifetime had passed, but on days like this when her fear bubbled and festered, and madness enveloped her mind, she felt as raw and desperate as the day she’d stumbled out of the desert, hanging to life by the thinnest of threads.

Anna had come to the North Carolina coast to find silence and solitude, to heal. Her body had, the swelling was gone, the bruises hardly noticeable. She walked without a limp now, and it was only a matter of time before she could grip a glass without it slipping through her fingers. Her mind proved harder to mend, the scars permanent. Images of the hell she endured at the hands of unmitigated evil were etched deep in her brain, they flashed in constant repetition before her eyes. The sound of her own screams echoed in her ears. It had begun as a soft whisper, an icy breath on the back of her neck but with each passing day, it grew. Now it encapsulated her, held her by the throat and threatened to swallow her whole.

Her family had gathered in a show of support, crowding into her mother’s sprawling Ocracoke Island beach house as if it were a joyous reunion. Her director had called with a message from the President. Even her old mentor had shown his war-weary face for a day or two. There was nothing they could do or say to ease Anna’s pain, her suffering going beyond their comprehension. They tried, she would give them that, but all they had to offer was food she refused to eat, and conversations she had no desire to engage. She felt their commiseration. It clouded their eyes and dripped from their tongues. They pitied her failing mind, her broken spirit, her shattered soul. She hated them for that.

Anna knew life as it had once been was over. She understood there was no going back, yet she couldn’t bear the thought of another day trapped inside her mental prison. There was only one way out, and she accepted her fate with open arms.

She rose to her feet and stumbled through the powdery sand propelled by an unseen force toward the rising sun. It beckoned to her, the promise of blessed release and absolution drifting in on the cold sweet wind. It held her transfixed, as alluring as the intoxicating song of a siren.

Anna waded into the frothy surf, the buzz in her head growing with every step. Violent waves broke over her as she fought through the swirling current. At the place where shallow sand dropped into the endless abyss, she paused, staring directly into the blinding light of the sun.

And she surrendered.

The water took her, engulfing her, dragging her down into the dark depths, and for the first time in one hundred and two days she experienced unfettered freedom. Peace. Anna lifted her face up, and watched the reflection of the sun dance across the surface overhead. Overwhelming reverence surged through her, and she felt closer to God than she had even been.

She blew the last of the air from her lung, and water filled her mouth, its weight crushing her chest. Within seconds her vision blurred and the infernal noise that had plagued her for weeks and weeks receded into the background and slowly faded into silence. She closed her eyes and welcomed the blackness.

It was over.

She was finally free.

Her neck jerked back then, shattering her new-found peace. Something had her by the hair, hauling her up with a speed and agility she was powerless to resist. Her head broke the surface. She gasped as water and air fought a battle within her lungs. Anna tried to twist around, tried to see who or what had taken hold of her. The grip on her hair loosened, but just enough for a strong arm to encircle her neck and drag her back to shore. It wasn’t until she lay in a heap on the sand shivering and coughing the last of the water from her lungs did she look into the clear green eyes of the man who had ruined her only chance for freedom.

A man she knew she could never forgive.

Camp NaNoWriMo: the aftermath

On Saturday, I surpassed my Camp NaNoWriMo goal by 4K+ words.

That means I won.

Yippee!

Time for a celebration.

Tequila and Ren Faire, it is.

Don’t judge me.

So, now it’s over. The euphoria that comes with accomplishment is waning, and I am left with the aftermath of writing willy-nilly for a month straight without rereading or editing a single word – just a lot of marking and moving on. A difficult concept for me, and frankly, the thought of facing what I’ve committed to paper scares me.

I did, though – at five in the morning, over my morning coffee. My walk through was brisk. It was all I could muster after four hours of sleep and the realization that I had forgotten to pick up french vanilla coconut milk coffee creamer on my way home. Black coffee sweetened with refined sugar does not make for ideal shitty writing reading conditions.

I hear war stories from the NaNo veterans. They assure me that cringe worthy writing is the norm. After all, NaNo is not about producing a finished product, it’s about a commitment and dedication to the act of writing. I suppose in this context, what I found was on par. It is a bit overgrown in places, a little sparse in others. There are rare bursts of brilliance encapsulated within thick sticky sludge. Anna is still missing her retribution. The fragility of her state of mind is not quite right, and her brother is without a completed introduction scene – again. And the typos – sweet baby Jesus, don’t get me started on the typos.

It is a work in progress, ever evolving. I am not displeased with what I’ve done – it could be worse. I’m far from finished, but I am closer to the end. In the last few days, I have been struck by an idea for a new opening scene. It is something I’ve struggled with for a long time – where does Anna’s story begin? This new scene captures Anna’s inability to cope, her helplessness and hopelessness, her quest for absolution. In other words, Anna hitting rock bottom. I think it works. I hope it works. I’m sure my writing group will tell me if it doesn’t.

On a side note, its inspiration comes from an album that I’ve listened to countless times and never before made the correlation.

It’s all in the timing, I suppose.

So, now what?

More writing, of course.

Anna needs to get her retribution back!

Self-shaming Sunday Update

I have dipped my toe back into the writing pool. It’s been a long time since I embraced my WIP and allowed it flourish. Of course, I still have 3 finals to get through before I can completely commit myself to Anna and her plight.

In the interim, I’ve started to assess where I left off, what needs my immediate attention, and where do I want the journey to take me (and Anna, of course). When last I left you, I had decided Anna needed a brother – a dysfunctional brother with penchant for trouble. He’s a thief with problems. Most of which become Anna’s. In September, I was having trouble writing his introduction scene, and by the end of it I wanted to just kill him. Purely a selfish urge on my part. I didn’t like him, I still don’t like him. I resent what he is doing to my story. Irrational? Maybe a little.

I am starting fresh with the outline. Yes, for those of you keeping track – this is outline number 5. My favorite number. A good omen? I’m going to go for optimism here and say, yes.

So, today I am working on two scenes:

Aaron – an introduction to a thief (in action). He will nearly die. I will enjoy writing that part, I think. Of course, he will not die because this incident will spur Anna to reenter a life she left behind a long time ago.

Anna – an introduction. Her life after the thing that happened years ago that sent her into seclusion. I do have a great opening written for her in my previous draft. I am going to recycle it as a flashback scene. It was too good to give up. (I am going to choose to ignore Bill Chance’s voice as he tells me: “If you love it, delete it.”)

So there you have it.

Word Count: 0

Next weeks goal: Drafted introduction scenes for Anna and Aaron.

A writing marathon

Yesterday I took a break from my studies and went on a little excursion with my writing group. We ventured south from our corner of suburbia into an eclectic downtown neighborhood known as Deep Ellum. It has the kind of charm that comes with age -each building has a tale to tell; every face a story.

Organized by my fellow WC-er Bill Chance, the trip was intended to spark our imaginations. You can read about his experience with a recent New Orleans writing marathon [here]. The idea was to walk through the streets, take in the sights, draw inspiration, brainstorm, and then find a comfortable corner to write. We wrote in 20 minute bursts, then shared. I wasn’t big on the sharing part at first, but I warmed up to it. I’m glad I did. If there is one thing I’ve learned over the last couple of years, its that raw honest feedback is invaluable to a writer.

I haven’t written much fiction since the end of August when I chose to put my WIP aside, and focus on that damn Geology class and lab. Regrettable, but necessary. However, now that the semester is winding down and all I’ve left on my plate are finals, I am itching to get back into the fray. This trip was a good way to kick start the creative juices and reconnect with my old friend, Anna.

Where did she lead me in Deep Ellum? She led me to a crumbling Roman brothel where she met with a drunken ex-KGB operative – her maternal grandfather and the man who murdered her father. She longed to put a bullet in his brain, but instead, she swallowed her dark desires for retribution and asked for his help. I’m not sure how this is going to work out. I like the idea of this man; I like the familial connection; I like the conflict. I wonder how Anna will reconcile her feelings toward her grandfather – will she pity the drunken shell he has become? Will she give into her baser desires and avenge her father’s legacy? Or will she simply take what he can give and walk away?

I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out.

An update and an award

Usually, I post these self-shaming updates on Sunday, but I was too busy watching Roger Federer reclaim the top spot in men’s tennis.

One must have clearly defined priorities, right?

In between break points, I did manage to pull myself away from the television long enough to take a good hard look at my WIP. I haven’t really done that since JuNoWriMo ended. I was a little scared, but it wasn’t all that bad. There are parts that work, parts that don’t, parts that scream WTF. It could have been worse. It needs to be better.

After reading through 90 or so pages of material, I decide that Anna needed a brother. So, I added him, and then I killed him. Cold, I know, but necessary. It will add an emotional element and focus to the story that I felt was lacking. Of course, adding (and killing) an important new character means that the underlying dynamic of my story has changed and therefore, an outline revision is in order.

I can’t tell you how much that thrills me. You know, because outlining is my favorite part about the writing process.

Moving on. I want to take a minute to acknowledge and thank Julie over at Word Flows for the Lucky 7 Meme Award she tossed my way a couple of weeks ago. These sort of things always put a smile on my face. Thank you, Julie!

Of course, this one is a little different from most. It requires giving up a piece of my WIP for the world to see. That’s not something I am comfortable doing outside of my writing group. If it had been anyone else, I would have bowed out, but for Julie, I will do it.

The Lucky 7 Meme Award Rules are as such:

1. Go to the 7th or 77th page of your work in progress.

2. Go to the 7th line of the page.

3. Copy the next 7 sentences or paragraphs. Remember, they must be as they are typed.

4. Tag 7 authors.

5. Let them know they’re it!

So, here are my 7 lines – unedited and raw.

That’s all I’m willing to give.

“Rome, however, remained constant. The streets and lanes were still narrow and winding, paved in worn uneven cobbles. The stucco facade of the old buildings were still faded and covered in graffiti. Smart cars, motor bikes, and scooters still clogged every conceivable inch of space. Life moved on.

Anna inhaled. Even through the fog of her grief, it felt good to be home.

She didn’t live far from the piazza, just around the corner on the Vicolo Moroni, a street so confined she could touch the walls on either side. Her flat was on the top floor of a Renaissance era structure the color of salmon. A heavy wrought iron gate shielded an intimate courtyard with a bubbling fountain and potted orange trees from view. The entrance to the…”

There you have it. Doesn’t tell you much, does it?

***There seems to be a formatting difference. In Word, this excerpt is truly 7 lines.

Just Write: Let the writing begin!

Do you smell that?

That is the smell of uninhibited creativity.

What? Smell’s like burning plastic…

…humph.

Today, I am getting back into the groove. Though, if the truth be told, I haven’t really fallen off of the writing wagon. I’ve just had no time to blog about my progress. You know how life can be sometimes – it runs you ragged and sucks you dry. A few months ago, I started outlining the rewrite of my WIP Retribution. It went badly at first, as I knew it would. By nature, I am not an organized writer. A personality flaw to add to my growing list. However, I figured out what worked best for me, and the awkward process seemed to straighten itself out. I feel pretty good about what I’ve got to work with, and hopefully it will be enough to get me past the 30,000 word mark – the point at which I threw in the towel last time.

For weeks, I have resisted the urge to write. Premature writing is distracting and tends to land me in a big old mess of trouble. Well, the time has come.

Let the writing begin!

To keep with the theme of my self-shaming Sunday update, which will make a return this week, I am going to give myself a goal to meet.

This week’s goal:

Complete draft of opening scene – i.e. introduce the world to Anna and blow up the Piazza Navona.

…and away we go.